Goodbye.

I have made up my mind. I don't want to see any of you again. At least for now. So please leave me alone. I need a break from all these mess. From my last 3 years.

I fully understood what you've told me in your mail. And I agree with you too.

But, please let me be childish and stupid for once. Just this once.

It's been too long that I've been so understanding, trying hard to do what I should be doing and working towards making everything right.

IT IS NOT.

For once, I wanna be stupid. I wanna be childish. I don't wanna think about anything anymore. I've had enough.

Let me be please, PLEASE. At these for now. For this week. For this month. For this year.

How long, I do not know. I just don't want to talk or contact or chat with anyone that I've known in these 3 years.

Anyone I've known ever since I've met you.

I realised, ever since I've met you, my whole life is based on you.

You and only you.

Everywhere I go, there's you.

You and you and you and more you.

Now, I really don't feel like talking to you, or meeting up with you, or hear any news about you. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE REMINDED ABOUT YOU.

...and there's no other way to do that except to throw out my past 3 years.

Because everything has been only about you and you and you ONLY since then.
Now I'm letting all that go.

I want to. I need to.

After I said goodbye to you yesterday, there were tears in my eyes.

WARM TEARS. IN MY EYES.

But, I'm not crying. I'm not even sad in the slightest bit.

No I'm not happy either.

It's just that, I'm not sad.

In fact, I feel relieved. Relieved that I won't hear ANYTHING about you again anytime soon.

Or anyone else that matters. Or related.

But later after I read your sms replies, there's this feeling there back again in my heart that's gripping it so tightly, so painful that it aches.

A rope that has tied and chained my heart to you ever since I met you.

...it's bleeding.

My heart's bleeding. Profusely. All I can see is only a pool of red...an endless red. Bloody red.

I need a break. Seriously.

I don't want to see any of you. Anyone from Ragnarok Online. Anyone from Anime Malaysia. Anyone from XL's forum. Anyone from Play.com.my.

ANYONE OR ANYTHING THAT REMINDS ME OF MY PAST 3 YEARS. AND YOU.

So please, let me go. Let me be alone. For now.

I need a break. I need a holiday. I need off.

PLEASE, PLEASE, LET ME ALONE.

I've blocked and deleted all of you from my MSN. Sorry, really sorry.

But I had to.

It's not that I don't treasure our friendship, but please let me be my own childish self and allow me to be by myself at least for now.

I know I'm stupid. But please, just let me be.

So bye bye. Goodbye all. Just treat as though you've never known any Chidori....

Goodbye....

A normal day of a normal girl named Chidori.

Nothing much to blog about...so I'll just illustrate how today passed in the blink of an eye.

Okies~!!!

At 11:05am was woken up by a call from Perak. WTF~!!! Disrupt my beauty sleep pulak. Zzzzzz...And siape tu?!!! @@ Ask for me but later on when I ask her to repeat what's she's mumbling about she said wrong number.....ARGH!!!! PIF!!!! My lesbian admirer issit? Hmph.

Awake jor...ma called a number for a job an ex-colleague recommended to me. Aiyak...sei for. 3pm interview pulak. =.=|| ARGGHH!!!! Don't care la....T___T

...12.30pm started to travel to that darn far Sayfol International School already. All my mom's fault. Bising bising bising SO NOISY!!!! Say what late liao la this time got jam la bla bla bla....Ears pain dah. T___T

...but really got jam.....Haiz....

(Daily affair at Jalan Bukit)

More jam...

(Jam jam jam...)

AND more jam.....T___T

(...peanut butter jam~!!! ^^)

...and still end up half an hour early. DAMN!!!!

T.T

So I went to curi masuk this restaurant's parking from behind (it's RM3 per entry...PIF) and took a nap there for the remaining time. ^ ^

(Sneak in from behind!!! Free parking!!! :P Kids don't try this at home. XD XD XD)

2pm!!! Time's up!!! OK TIME TO TEACH THOSE LITTLE BRATS SOME 18SX TECHNIQUES~!!!!! XD XD XD ...errr....it's drum techniques actually. :P YEAH~~~ Another RM50 earned~!!! XD XD XD nice nice for only 1 hour. ^_^

(Sayfol International School. Time to teach!!! XD XD XD)

Next up!!! Rush to McDs in Taman Connaught for job interview.

(Taman Connaught. I miss their pasar malam!!! T_T)

Reached....called the agent....WTF?!?!?! STILL AT PUCHONG!??!?!

.......-.-||| ARGH.

Looks I'm cursed to wait for other people today. T___T

Lalala~~~ tick tock tick tock....hang out at Giant supermarket...

...stare at the passing aeroplane above....

(It's a bird...it's a bee...IT'S A PLANE!!! :P)

...gaze at the beautiful setting sun...

(Blazing sun setting on the horizon.)

And of course....me me AND MORE ME!!!! XD XD XD

(Lenglui mou~? :P)

Hahaha...back to topic. :P

Anyway got the job so I'll be working this weekend at Sg Wang for some optical shop. ^_^ Abit scary though...I'm all alone. T__T No colleague also. And this is my first time!!! I don't know what to do!!!! T_____T

Back at home!!!

(Aunty Chidori. T_T)

Looks familiar? >_<

A pic I took imitating CY's new avatar. Lolz. And I failed miserably!!! Wuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu.......T___________T

Looks like aunty!!! Noooooooo..............T_________T

What a nice way to end my day.

...looks like i gonna have nightmares tonight. -__-"

2000 hits!!! Hurray!!

I'm so happy!!! At last reached 2000 hits!!!! >__<

Hmmm....this blog has been operating since 12/12/2004....means that's like 2000 hits in 47 days. 42.55 hits per day? Okies....not bad!!! ^__^ Good enough for some nobody like me. *laughs* Unlike some blogger I know who gets 2000 hits a day MINIMAL..... -___-"

Thanks for everyone's support for the past one and a half months!!!

Muakzzz and MUAKZZZZZ again!!!

^ ^

Ah ok. Now let's sidetrack from topic.

Today, I helped out with my mom for her linedancing party....31 persons came in total. I know...because I was in charge of the tatooing and lucky draw. =.=|||

So...ma pui and see all those aunty ah mas dance around shaking their bon bons and saggy boobs....lolz.

Ooh ShaKe iT bAhbEe~!!! Ah ma ah ma that's WAAAYYY HOT!!!! SPICY!!!

.....if you were 20 years younger.

-_-"

Not to say all of them are old, but still.....

YUCK.

Ok, back to me. Say cheese!!!! ^ ^



Next up I wanna bitch a bit about this stupid bitch who's already an old hag but still is so SO stingy and muka tembok.

Here's how it is.

To start off, let's just name this aunty here as B****. (that stands for bitch, DUH! *rolleyes*)

So, 3 months ago, B**** was searching for a linedancing teacher to start a class at some not-yet-launched new hall in Bukit Mewah. Apparently this B**** had some connection with some big shot YB who's in charge of the hall and who's also interested in linedancing.

My mom volunteered. In the name of linedancing.

At the beginning, everything was sugarcoated and everyone was nice to every body...comprimising with this and that bla bla bla. The B**** suggested that they start a committee. She'll be in charge of the funds and half of the money collected from the students will go into that fund. (RM20/month, RM10 goes into the fund and RM10 into my mom's pocket.) The fund is for the use of the class, like buying equipments and for holding events and stuff.

Although B**** was kinda bossy about the way my mom teaches, but that's fine.

Then, out of nowhere, she said that all the students must fill in a form to be an MCA member.

......WTF?!?!?

Of course my mom disagreed. Linedancing has no relation whatsoever with politics.

So, problem starts. -_-"

This B**** starts to throw tantrums, act although she's the big boss around and owner of the hall, on the music loud loud by herself and dancing syok sendiri while my mother was teaching something else.

Talk about muka tembokness.

As expected, this silly B**** couldn't keep up with the class, lost interest, and went MIA for like a month or so. While holding all the funds. Which has around RM1000+++ in it??!!

Not forgetting to mention that this stingy B**** wouldn't even pay a cent outta that fund to buy a stupid clock for the class.

Good riddance I'll say. Hmph.

Well, MIA until today. A linedance party after end of three months as promised.

The B**** was the one who suggested this idea. (Must be with politics in mind...A perfect chance to scrub the YB's ass!!!)

And, she wouldn't even come to the organising party. Or pay a cent from the fund.

But still, my mom decided to go on with the idea. She wanted to give something back to the students for supporting her all this while...So she decided to pay out of her own pockets to hold this party for free.

Luckily someone suggested that they hold the party in the potluck way, so everyone brings something.

IT WAS A BLAST!!!

Almost everyone brought some makan stuff, so food was more than enough.

Then this bigshot B**** starts walking in with her 'ma lui'. (Imagine Steven Chow and that elephant-size fatty in Kungfu Hustle and you'll get the picture)

Empty handed.

And started to collect money from each of the students as the party fee.

WTF?!?!?!

SHE DID NOT EVEN LIFT A FINGER OR PAY A CENT TO ORGANIZE THIS PARTY.

AND FUCK SHE DOESN'T EVEN OWN A SINGLE BIT OF THE HALL!!!

SO WHY THE FUCK IS SHE COLLECTING THE $$$??!?!

(sidenote: she lives in a giant bungalow behind my house on the hill top)

...all these without the knowledge or discussing with my mom beforehand.

She just walked in, and started collected money from everyone.

WTF??!?!

WWWTTTTFFF???!!!

She has the bullshit pride to go around collecting money for a party that's supposed to be potluck and free.

EMPTY HANDEDLY.

WITHOUT EVEN LIFTING A FINGER TO HELP.

SNEAKING BEHIND MY MOM AND COLLECT MONEY.


...........

Oh well I guess this world is full of prideless people.

Not to mention stupid.

Now I know.

Death:Rebirth. 再不见。

昨晚，我又哭了。

为何？

以为自己早就哭完了。从那天起。

但，事实永不简单。

第一次与你邂逅已是两年多前的事。

记忆中还很新鲜。

不知为何，就是很在意你。

那不怎么起眼的你，那静静的你。

我深深已被吸引着。

第二次与你相见，更加不用再多啰嗦。

现在仍然还被吸引着，怎么都放不开。紧紧地索着我的心。

虽然明明是爱慕着你，却拼命否认。

因为心知肚明，你我是不可能的。

一，你只当我是你的妹妹。

二，你已有心爱的女友。（虽然之后分手了。）

三，距离问题。就算能与你一起，我也满足不了当一个好女友的责任。

好多次尝试抹杀对你的感情。

然而，还是忘不了你。

我好自卑。烦恼。心痛。悲伤。

痛苦。

痛苦能看见你，听见你的声音，与你心灵相通，而不能告诉你我的爱意。

为何？

为何只对你有这种感情，这种冲动。

这种就算一世陪在你身边也愿意的感觉。

。。。心情糟透了。

流泪已成家常便饭，已成某种仪式。

心好像要爆炸似的。

最后忍无可忍，只好告白。

不然，我会疯掉。

真的。

当然，是被拒绝。

2004年7月至年尾，是我人生中最沮丧的期间。

哭，哭，哭。

眼眶。。。24小时都充满了眼泪。

哭完了，再哭。

完全失去了自我。

奇怪，一直以来，都认为自己是个坚强的女孩。

哭这个字，在我的词典里根本不存在。

连与前男友分手时，一滴泪都没流过。

怎么会为一个都没开始过的关系哭得稀稀拉拉？

我不知。

也不想晓得。

。。。就这样执过了到今年。

过得还好，真感谢朋友们的支撑。

特别是KM。。。真的，真的非常感谢他。

感觉上欠了他好多好多人情，不知要怎么回报。

不否认，他的存在的确堂堂正正的打进我的心口。

从前到现在，他仍然是我心中很重视的一个人。

可能是因为他常与你一起来和我见面的关系，常常让我笑，性格也很合得来。而且偶然性的相遇也蛮多。

一切都过得很好。

直到大约二星期前。

我又哭了。

为何？

是旧伤口吧。

为何还会痛？

而且比以前还厉害。

我不想让你看到在哭的自己，就从你的车上冲了出来。

你走后，我走了几步。

好重。脚，真的好重。

我走不动了。

就坐在那陌生的天桥，又哭了。

哭得好凶。

路过人，都以为我醉了。

我还是情不自禁地坐在那儿哭了好久。完全控制不了自己。

也许，这是我自造的恶果。

还好，他来陪我散心。要不然，都不知自己在做什么。

但是，那天之后，心情变得好舒畅。

好像已挣脱了什么似的。

脚步，又变轻了。

就像遇见你之前的我。

终于可以画上休止符了吗？

。。。不。

昨天，眼泪又流。

为何？

为何？！！！！

又是那种心情！！！！

为何？

为何不能放过我吗？！！

还是。。。是我自己放不过它。

我好傻！！！

就区区为了一个像这样的男人，而辛苦了两年多。

我真的好傻，好傻。

心，就是那么傻的一颗感情物体。

这是最后的了。

最后。

今天后，再也没有下例。

这一生涯，已完。

谢谢。

你们让我在这短短的时间内成长了不少。

不，应该是说成长了很多。

非常的多。

虽然有点苦，但是，我真的很开心能遇见你们俩。

你们永远是我心目中的真心挚友。

很感谢你们，谢谢你们曾经进了我的生活。

一世忘不了你们。

现在，我该死了。

我待留在那个世界，已经太久。

是时候抹杀自己。

再不见。

旧的我已逝，是时候活出新的自己。

新的道路，新的一颗心。

就用我自己的力量开拓它吧！

“樱花是樱花，梅花乃是梅花。。。

只要活出真实的自己，就算有多困难，有多永久，最后也一定能开出又大又迷人的花。。。”

ARGH!! MY BANDWIDTH!!!

ARGH!!!! My bandwidth keep exceeding non-stop!!! *sob sob* T____T

Just yesterday, I have to re-register new accounts at geocities and freewebtown because I've used up all my bandwidth again....T_T And it's frigging bugging me.

I only use Geocities to host my images....like that also can overshot. =.=|| But it's still ok, because that's not too often.

BUT FREEWEBTOWN?!?!!

After only 5 days I've opened my new account, the bandwidth already overshot.

-_-"

Now why do I use freewebtown? Because that's the only free hosting service I found which can upload files bigger than 5MB. That's where I upload my mp3s.

Darn. Hope it doesn't explode this fast this time round.

Anyone got any better suggestions as to where I should host my files? T____T

Because you're...you....

Missing you. Damn bad.

Although not as bad as before, but the missing part is still there.

Not too long ago, when I told someone I miss you, he asked me whether I'm in love with you.

And my direct reply is. "NO"

Straight forwardly, unhesitantly. Without battling an eyelid.

While all this while, I have been missing you on and off, again and again...well perhaps not as strong as the other half, but still it's there. And it's really bugging me off.

"When you love a person, you will miss him."

But when you miss a person, do you love him?

Now, that's a question to ponder upon.

Christmas...and the coming valentine. And I'm all alone again.

Not physically alone, but spiritually.

In actual fact, if you were to ask me out on any of these occasion, I would be more than happy to do so.

But you didn't. And you won't. Because...you're.....you.

I even took the initiative to invite you out on christmas, but you said it will be boring, and didn't want to.

Oh well, there goes.

Perhaps I didn't ask properly enough, perhaps I was beating around the bush, but the answer is still....no.

I guess these emotions will fade soon. Real soon.

But I owe you too much. More than I can bear. Too much kindness to repay. You were always there to support me when I was REAL down, when I was really suffering deep inside. You always had a way to make me laugh, with all your weird antics and bubbly personality. And I feel bad I have not been the same true friend to you.

Soon, I will return all these back to you. I will repay you in some way, maybe just over a cup of tea or an outing.

And then, it will be over. Nothing else to pull my heart down.

After nearing 3 years of painstaking unrequited love towards the other half, I've at last learnt to fully let go of him, and wish him all the best in his life. Although I still love him, but in another way. The true friend way.

And now, that leaves only you in my heart. The silent one who was creeping into my heart bit by bit, insignificantly...but stronger and stronger by the day. The one that I have so defiantly tried to deny.

And it's a relief, it will all over soon.

At last, a break.

Unless...you decide to take some action...

But because you're...you....

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
風...I can feel the wind again...

Serendipity. Alcohol. Lust.

Uncertainty. Obscure. Vague.

Indefinite. Interdeterminate.

Confusing. Fuzzy...


...AMBIGUOUS.

The undefined emotions for someone...an endless horizon. Who do you love? Who do you hate? Do you love the person your mind is craving for? Or are the lusty emotions and cravings just vibes...mere perceptions of the senses which will disintergrate come the next morning...?

Alas, the boundaries of love. ...and hate. Thin, fragile partitions as wispy as the air.... a mixture.... cocktail of fervent emotions....


...AMBIGUITY.

Ah, the taste of love. Sweet...and serene...A smell of erratic escalation. Sensuous...Intense...Erotic...Pleasure. Culmination...Climactic...ESCALATION.

A NEW LEASE OF LIFE.

Running agaisnt the blades of wind.

...through the endless....green...fields.....


ADDICTIVE. Mesmerizing...and.....and.....


ERODING.


..... as you feel yourself falling helplessly into the bounderless darkness.....

A void of nothingness.


Defenseless. Desolate. VULNERABLE.

But yet, so comforting....


The emptiness...loneliness....sweeter than rainbow...serene as snow...of erotic erraticity...Addiction, the bittersweet taste of evaporating alcohol... melting onto the heightened senses...of pure lust. Leceherous, lascivious, licentious and salacious. Libido of passionate hot-bloodiness. Haziness vision...a flurry of blurred slur, eroding...and EATING into your frail walls of consciousness...shovelling away your conscience bit....by BIT.....



The sand of time still falls through your ferverishly cupped palms... escaping through the hairline gaps between your fingers.

The foundation of your world...weakens.

Insignificantly.


Slowly... but surely...




....tick... tock....tick....













...and the wall collapses...........

New Layout, 発し!!! XD XD XD

WOOHOO!!!! AT LAST FINISHED MY NEW LAYOUT!!! NYAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! XD XD XD

I am so DARN happy!!! Really broke my old bones to get all these done...T___T From all the graphics to the layouts to the encodings to the alignments. T_____T Did everything from scratch...

But well, at long last, everything's done!!! I FEEL SO COMPLETE!!! ^__^

Was thinking of using tables instead of div layers....because div layer will load differently on different browsers. But in the end I gave up on the tables. T_T Div layers are much MUCH more simple. >_< So sorry yeah....non Internet Explorer users... :P

Still running in the background...Gundam Seed Destiny's new opening PRIDE!!! Hope my bandwidth won't exceed again anytime soon. >_<

So guys and gals....ENJOY!!!! ^___^

ARCHANGEL 発し!!!!

PHASE14：明日への出航

Was wondering why my music stopped playing... rupa-rupanya I've exceeded my bandwidth. *laughs*

Now a new song is up!!! Gundam Seed Destiny's new opening song Pride!!!! I like it!!!! :P Not like someone who thinks it sucks....*hint hint*

Ahem...and now...to the main point of today's post...

GUNDAM SEED DESTINY ROOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NYAAAAAAAA~~~!!!!!! SUUGGGGOOOOOIIIINAAA~~!!!!!!! >_____________< NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M WAITING FOR!!!!!!!!!!!

For all those who's in the dark, episode 14 just came out fresh from the fansubs' oven... and....OH MAN!!!!! YOU'VE DEFINITELY GOTTA WATCH THIS. Kira rocks!!!! Freedom again shows just how sharp is its blade...and Archangel....Archangel HASSHI !!!! WOO HOOO!!!!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE CRYING~~~~ So gamdong~~ at last get to see some real action after waiting for 13 episodes!!!!

So....those who haven't watch it yet...I won't spoil it for you. :P Better go and download now!!!!

Gundam Seed Destiny 14 [A-Kingdom & AonE]


The new opening!!! Stella looks so demure...@@


Cagalli forced into marriage for the sake of ORB...


Kira Yamato, Freedom, いっきます!!!!

Busy Week.

Man. I can't breathe.

Suddenly, there are so many things to do, so many things to accomplish, and so little time....

I can just list down the offers that came to me in just these few days. Endless. Mostly jobs concerning cars, drums...and one big giant university offer that they 'claimed' they don't give out anymore. Oh well...money makes the world go round....*rolleyes*

Ok!!! Here goes!!!

1. Teaching job at Sayfol International School
A bit stupid job...one hour ONLY every friday teaching kids of different nationalities how to play drums....=.=|| The transportation fees also exceeds the pay T_T Well, luckily I'm not the one who's paying. ;P It's RM50 CASH for every hour btw. Well looks at the bright side...I should be honoured because all the other teachers are from NSO that's National Symphony Orchestra MIND YOU) So...that's travelling all the way to Ampang every week for just one hour of teaching for me...T_T

2. IMU offer
OH GREAT. And they CLAIMED so defiantly that they stopped giving out conditional offers to applicants without actual results since last year. And that was my main reason I applied actually :P Because I was quite sure I wouldn't get it. BUT I DID. WTF! There are so many other things I wanna do wanna achieve...I thought I had my free time until August!!!! T_________T ARGGGHHH!!!!!!!!

3. Japanese Lessons
Every Monday and Thursday are occupied then. But the Japanese sensei is SO KAWAII!!!!! >___< Real cute lady ^^ And lenglui too!!!! I like!!!!! ^_~ Not much of work here...because the syllabus is quite easy...only thing is the time and travelling....>_<

4. Car Show
The main reason I'm on a race to slim down now. But still don't know if I'll get the job or not. Something about posing for some car show for 5 hours a day over a period of 3 days...and get paid RM180-200. The catch is...YOU'LL HAVE TO WEAR HOTPANTS AND TIGHT-FITTING TOP!!! >___< Well I don't really mind....and the job seems fine. Safe in a public place. But...the job is about the same time...when I start my studies!!! DARN!!!

5. F1 gal and other events
...which I'm going for an interview tomorrow. Wish me luck. ^_~

6. 1st stage selection
Some 1st stage online selection for some modelling agency for their 04/05 models which I've passed. O.o Langsung taktau aper. Just saw their ad at klue.com.my so ma simply sent some photos of myself over. Hmmm.....Weird. But sounds cool. Hope I do get selected in the end anyway. ^__^

So...basically I guess that's all. Unless I've missed out any. I wouldn't know..too many things happening at the same time. Till the next time...See ya then!!! :P

P.S: I've uploaded a few new pics...I know quite a few of you will like them....*evil evil evil*

Gundam Seed DESTINY

Currently playing:
Reason
by 玉置成実

I've always loved the ending themes of the Gundam Seed series more than their openings. It seems that their ending themes always had an uncanny way of making me recall of those bittersweet memories in Seed. Oh well, I guess the same goes to Destiny. My all time favourite ending of SEED is the episode where Cagalli's father pass to her the photo of her and Kira together as babies, ushered her into the departing ship and burnt the whole of ORB down, including himself. And all of these with the beautiful ending theme as its backdrop.

It's kind of frustrating how Kira, Athrun, Cagalli and Lacus are such kelefes so far in DESTINY... -.-||| ARGGHH I JUST CAN'T STAND THEM!!!! And I am so damn happy to see them finally in some action!!!! AT LONG LAST!!! If they still don't conjure up any heat I will personally fly to Japan and nail down Seed DESTINY's producer. ;P

Was searching the net high and low for a better version of their lyrics, but in vain. T____T This is the best I could find. Enjoy!!

(Because this song has many unconventional kanji readings, they're included in parenthesis's)

遠く離れてるほどに近く感じてる
寂しさも強さへと　変換（かわ）ってく…君を想ったなら

街も人も夢も　変えていく時間に
ただ逆らっていた
言葉を重ねても　理解（わか）り合えないこと
まだ知らなかったね

君だけを抱きしめたくて失くした夢君は
「諦メナイデ」　と云った

遠く離れてるほどに近く感じてる
寂しさも強さへと　変換（かわ）ってく…君を想ったなら
切なく胸を刺す　それは夢の欠片
ありのまま出逢えた　その奇跡　もう一度信じて

君がいない日々にずっと立ち止った
でも　歩き出してる
君と分かち合った　どの偶然にも意味が
そう　必ずあった

それぞれの夢を叶えて　まためぐり逢うとき
偶然は運命になる

破れた約束さえも誓いに変えたなら
あの場所で出逢う時あの頃の二人に戻（なれ）るかな？
“優しさ”　に似ている懐かしい面影
瞳（め）を閉じて見えるから　手を触れず在ることを知るから

明日にはぐれて答えが何も見えなくても
君に逢う　そのために重ねてく　“今日”　という真実

遠く離れてるほどに近く感じてる
寂しさも強さへと　変換（かわ）ってく…君を想ったなら
切なく胸を刺す　それは夢の欠片
ありのまま出逢えた　その奇跡　もう一度信じて

tooku hanareteru hodo ni chikaku ni kanjiteru
samishisa mo tsuyosa eto kawatteku... kimi wo omotta nara

machi mo hito mo yume mo kaeteiku jikan ni
tada sakaratteita
kotoba wo kasanete mo wakari aenai koto
mada shiranakatta ne

kimi dake wo dakishimetakute nakushita yume kimi wa
"akiramenaide" to itta

tooku hanareteru hodo ni chikaku ni kanjiteru
samishisa mo tsuyosa eto kawatteku... kimi wo omotta nara
setsunaku mune wo sasu sore wa yume no kakera
arinomama deaeteta sono kiseki mou ichido shinjite

kimi ga inai hibi ni zutto tachitomatta
demo arukidashiteru
kimi to wakachiatta dono guuzen nimo imi ga
sou kanarazu atta

sorezore no yume wo kanaete mata meguriau toki
guuzen wa unmei ni naru

yabureta yakusoku sae mo chikai ni kaetanara
ano basho de deau toki ano koro no futari ni nareru kana?
"yasashisa" ni niteiru natsukashii omokage
me wo tojite mieru kara te wo furezu arukoto wo shiru kara

asu ni hagurete kotae ga nanimo mienakute mo
kimi ni au sono tame ni kasaneteku "kyou" to iu shinjitsu

tooku hanareteru hodo ni chikaku ni kanjiteru
samishisa mo tsuyosa eto kawatteku... kimi wo omotta nara
setsunaku mune wo sasu sore wa yume no kakera
arinomama deaeteta sono kiseki mou ichido shinjite

The further we are apart, the nearer I feel you are.
Even my loneliness turns into strength... when I think of you.

In a time where streets, people and dreams change,
I could only resist the changes.
I still did not realize,
That there are things that can't be conveyed even with words.

My lost dreams of wanting to hold you by my side,
For them, you said "Don't give up!"

The further we are apart, the nearer I feel you are.
Even my loneliness turns into strength... when I think of you.
The thing that pierces my suffocating chest, that's a fragment of my dream.
Believe once more in the miracle that is our chanced meeting.

In the days without you, I've stopped moving.
But now I am walking out of here.
All the coincidences we shared,
Certainly, they all have their meanings.

When our dreams comes true one by one, and we meet again,
The coincidences become fate.

If even the torn promises can change into vows,
Can we also change back to the two of us from the time we met at that place?
The dear faces that resemble "kindness".
I can see with my eyes closed, I know you are here without our hands touching.

Even if I can't see the astrayed answers tomorrow,
I carry the truth known as "today" in order to meet you.

The further we are apart, the nearer I feel you are.
Even my loneliness turns into strength... when I think of you.
The thing that pierces my suffocating chest, that's a fragment of my dream.
As it is, believe once more in the miracle that is our chanced meeting.

Just how blinded can a person be?!?!

Oh well. Middle of the morning, and what am I still doing online? Reading some stupid bashing about a certain toyshop which has 2 branches in PJ. How exciting!!! It's even better than reading an Agatha Christie novel. I'm not naming any names here, but here's a screenshot of the shop's website.

Oops, I guess their logo is too big. ;P

Anyway, this heated discussion was started by some unsatisfied customer who couldn't promptly get his deposit back from the shop when his pre-orders did not arrive on time. Well, I could understand that as it is not easy to satisfy each and every customer that steps into your shop. But I still think that the deposit should be given back ON THE SPOT if the customer wishes to do so when the promised goods doesn't arrive.

Then HORDES of unsatisfied customers come into the picture and start all the bashing. It seems that this toyshop has a bad policy in returning deposits and holds a bad reputation of defaming other local shops.

Ok then, fine with me, the owner could just give a sincere apology and try to change for the better. Like what Diamond Comic did is really notable...THEY ABOLISHED THE DEPOSIT POLICY!!! And without any bashing from anyone also...Now that's what I call real businessmen who really knows how to run their businesses.

BUT NOO...This dude here has to be SO defensive on everything...blaming everyone, including their customers and their suppliers for everything...EVERYONE EXCEPT THEMSELVES. "NO IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!! It's the suppliers who just won't keep their promises!! Are you all so stupid to understand such a simple fact?!?!" SO WHAT?!?! Other toyshops don't seem to have any problems with their suppliers. And all you're doing is sit around whining in some forum??!! To me, he do sounds like a kid who can't face the consequences of his own actions. Those aren't his actual words, but he might as well say that out loud.

Sad to say this...but he INDEED has a serious attitude problem. I'm not judging this from all the complaints he gets and all the bad rumours about his shop...but I'm judging this from the replies he posted. He even had the guts to publicly post his customers' personal details just to prove he's in the right. HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO BLINDED??!!! Even a perfect piece of good advice was treated back with acute sarcasm.



To which he replied: Wow, thanks for taking the time and trouble at this hour of the morning to register a new nick!

.........

Now that's what I call real gratefulness.

Well, I guess the truth hurts.

Been planning to check out this shop sometime soon, but I guess I'll just bring my business to somewhere else.

Cheers!!! ^_^

Pinky:st ATTACK!!!

More Pinky:st poison coming!!! I'll only list those that are possible for us to get, and not those that only can be sought through some mail-order in Japan or whatsoever...

So here goes!!!

rｍＰｉｎｋｙ企画 [１，２６０円] [2005年3月予定]





「ストリートファイター」[１,２６０円][２００５年夏予定]




「Ｄ．Ｃ～ダ・カーポ～」[１,２６０円][２００５年７月予定]




天上天下×Pinky:st. THE GREATEST TAG BOXXX!!!!! [1,470円][２００５年4月-6月予定]





Unattainables:
「ＴＨＥ　ＫＩＮＧ　ＯＦ　ＦＩＧＨＴＥＲＳ」




「ガンスリンガーガール」

End of the horizon.

End of the horizon. Nowhere else to go. Directionless. Shall I proceed?

They say old wounds heal through time. But mine, just when I thought they've vanished, resurfaced once more to wreak havoc in my life. Oh my, they just enjoy torturing me don't they? Just bring it on! Take out your sharp blade and slash me to pieces. Shattered. You're always welcomed anytime anywhere. But please DO remember to make an appointment with me at least one week beforehand ok?

This sucks. WAY SUCKS. I didn't know something that simple can just trigger me off THAT easily. Just like a mine waiting to explode.

Oh well, fine!! So be it. If that's how you wanna play this game. But this is the last, I swear. You're gone, and gone forever. Deleted even from the recycle bin. Crashed, burnt and buried. Full stop. End of story. I can't afford the costs so no more sequels for you sorry.

DAMNIT!!! Goodbye!!! I don't even WANT to see the scars!!! DELETED!!! TERMINATED!!! ERASED!!!! FOREVER!!!!

An Eternity with you...

Your deep voice resonating in my ears. A hymn of silence. Of passion. Of pure lust. The intensity...of the night.....

My eyes shut; feeling the raw warmth of your body, wrapped around mine; the urge, the desire...holding me safe in your arms. Leaning over onto your firm shoulders, feeling your heart beating synchronised with mine...and gaze up to the soft smile on your face, greeting me back...A flicker of hope, of love, of everlasting devotion...and fiery thirst. The reflection of your eyes....My contented heart; melted, deep inside...

The blue skies above us, the orange wiltered leaves of autumn, the shimmering petals of the wind...; the sole witness of our last moment together. A warm tear on my cheeks...damp...drowned with sorrow...and hopelessness. Dear Lord, all I wish for...is to set my gaze upon you, upon your reassuring face, every single morning.. A fresh glimpse...set ablaze each day anew....You, safe and sound by my side, holding me so close, so tight...And never would want to let me go even for the world...

When will my timid voice be answered? A wish of a lifetime unfulfilled.

The day with you by my side, is a day I would truly cherish. Me; your heart hungers for...is a day I would give up everything for. A day which would forever be mine....

Just a touch on my cheeks.
A caress of my face.
A stroke on my arms.
A trickle of your warmth.
A whiff of my hair.
A bite on my ears.
A nibble on my neck.
A brush of your lips...on mine.
A taste of your passion...

...insatiable....unstoppable...

And you, desperately calling out for my name....

Busy, busy, busy....

Haih. What a nice way to start a new year. Work work work.

What??!?! No celebrations?! SIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Like anyone would want to go out after 10pm anyway... T________T

So, ma work lor. But the work was fun...although I'm just helping to promote SKII's new product....Signs-up Lifter KONON....RM 348 for a small vial?!?!?! Man, only old and rich people who don't know where to spend their money before they....you know.... :P can afford those...

Nice friends....Lotsa lengluiz...No lengcai...yadda yadda yadda....and most of all...NO FREE SAMPLES!!! ARGGHH!!!!! T______T

Hmmm...but RM 100 per day is reasonable enough I guess. Well, if u take away the 'working on holiday' part. It's like....around RM 12.50 per hour for just standing around looking pretty and smilling to all those ah sou ah ma....NICE!! I LIKE!!!! ;P

Anyway, on 31st december I got a letter from Clarins...saying I won a RM200 worth of Clarins product voucher...YAY~!!! ^___^ Nice nice ^_^ First attempt to win those kind of contests in The Star and won. I GENG!!!! MUAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! XD XD XD I wonder if they'll print out what I wrote to them...-.-||| Paiseh.... My funniest/worst make-up experience....although it was 100% a true story....

So, basically that's how I passed my eve and new year. B-O-R-I-N-G. *yawns* Now I shall get my beauty sleep....hope I can get up tomorrow for my last day of work....T_____T